Norse Stickball. -- The official game of Iron Lance!
Sven piss -- Everclear and lemonade concentrate. Tasty and dangerous!
VIVA LE FRANCE! (said with an bad accent) This is when we dress up out of period, and run around the massive Pennsic grounds, claiming it all in the name of France... Ok maybe we are a little more in period now, stupid period Nazis (oh yea like a cavalier is period!)
Fahrquar Juice -- Everclear and Gatorade crystals. We had a problem of the alcohol not getting into our systems fast enough, so we devised the ultimate solution! We just fight all day so our bodies are extremely dehydrated. Then, knowing that our bodies are dying for concentrated salts, sugars, and minerals (Gatorade crystals), we mix Gatorade crystals with everclear, and ZOOM! right through the stomach and kidneys, directly into your bloodstream. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Instant relief for that annoying sobriety of day!
Hot Tubs -- Nothing like it after a hard day of skull crushing.
Flirtation -- I'm sorry, was that the queen?
St. Olaf's Day -- Iron Lance has an inexplicable dislike for the color green, and clovers so we made up our own holiday shtick (To fall coincidentally on St. Patrick's day). For those of you who have been living in a cave all of your life and have never heard of St. Olaf, he is the Viking Hero who banished the slimy green snakes out of Valhalla by being very drunk and having LOTS of fun and loud parties (everybody knows that slimy green snakes HATE people having fun). So every year all good Vikings (who hate hate slimy green snakes of course) get together and play our annual honorary game of NORSE STICKBALL
For those of you who don't know what Norse Stickball is, it is a very mild simple game of that expresses the love and warm fuzzy feelings all Vikings share for mankind (especially slimy green snakes). OH YEA! Also, there is also lots of celebrating and partying to honor St. Olaf by the survivors of the Norse Stickball game (and surviving spectators too). It is traditional for all self-respecting Vikings to party and so much noise that we wake up St. Olaf, died while trying to consume an entire long ship of Viking ale (because someone told him that no one was manly enough to do it yet) 1200 years ago. In addition to Stickball and intense ritual celebration, all persons in attendance is be expected to wear and display (underwear is preferred) at least one item of yellow clothing or be prepared to face the "Wrath of Olaf" (the tweaking of a body part).
Apple Pie -- Everclear (Have you noticed we have this weird thing for Everclear? (And we mean Everclear, not some knock off)) and apple juice, spiced with cinnamon, battery acid, and ear-wax saturated Q-tips; a sweet and smooth after dinner libation. Great for those cool Pennsic nights (unless it is Pennsic 24).
Scythe's Award (Whose? He won't tell) Winning Frozen Raspberry & Strawberry Margaritas -- Extremely good (wonder if it has Everclear?); nothing' like 'em on a sweltering Pennsic afternoon (or night in case of Pennsic 24).
Rum Sodomy -- good pirate repellant (attractant?). Invented by the wonderfully people at camp Pentwyvern (you know, Men with out pants, Christmas, pirate party)
Baby harp seals. Well, you might ask. What about a baby harp seal. Well ya see, we have this thing against cute and furry little creatures (they make us feel happy). So, to counteract this happiness (which is bad for business), when we see a little, cute, furry, fuzzy, and helpless harp seal baby; WE BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF IT, with a stick! WITH A NAIL IN IT! KILL KILL KILL.....